Ever had the feeling how you’re playing games is how you approach life?
Yeah, me too.
What Is Path Of Exile?
Path of Exile is a Role Playing Game.
You choose your character class and go defeat monsters and explore the game world.
I always go for the Witch or Ranger.
They’re my favorite classes.
You start on a stranded island.
And you work your way up, accepting challenges and defeating the most difficult of game bosses.
I love this type of game, ever since Diablo started the dungeon crawler genre.
Me? I’m a 39 years guy with (some) passion left for gaming.
But also for personal development.
My favorite genre? You’ve guessed it, role-playing-games.
I used to play a lot of Diablo II in my 20’s.
But now I only play Path Of Exile.
Personal Development Patterns
In personal development, there is this principle that the world around you is a reflection of you, a reflection of the world inside of you.
Here are a few things playing of Path Of Exile reflected back to me.
Not Being Where I’m Supposed To Be
I was always playing to get to the next level.
The current level was not satisfying anymore.
I just wanted to get to the next place and then to the next one.
I never stopped to enjoy the game.
I was constantly rushing through to get to the next level.
This attitude made me lose interest in the game and the joy of playing.
Raising The Bar Too Soon
Since I was not where I was supposed to be, I kept taking on challenges that were much too hard.
My character was not ready to take on these challenges.
I wanted to prove myself, that I am good enough.
So I kept pushing and pushing.
But the character kept dying, again and again.
I was trying to prove myself.
I was supposed to be playing at higher levels of difficulty!
I was supposed to be capable of taking on such challenges!
But the challenges were too hard. For now, at least.
Playing like this made the game less and less rewarding to play.
It became more of a struggle than enjoyment.
Was this something I did in real life too?
Of course! Looking back in time, I could see this pattern emerge on multiple occasions.
I kept pushing myself until I broke down.
Then I had to lower the level of the challenges I was taking on.
Until I was ready to tackle it again.
But the damage was there…
Not Good Enough
Since the challenges were too high for the character I was playing, I had this constant feeling of not being good enough.
A good reframe here is not being good enough for the current challenge level.
Trying to take too big of a jump can do that.
But she’s a great character.
She’s good enough for other challenges, lower in difficulty.
She’s definitely good at something.
But my pride keeps pushing me to go for bigger challenges.
Pushing for greater challenges was a surefire way to get disappointed.
I ended up losing experience.
Is it something I do in real life too?
Of course!
Keep Pushing
I kept pushing the build (character) until it broke down repeatedly.
What happens in the game is that it loses experience.
Then you have to lower the level anyway.
And withdraw to lower levels and take time to recover the losses.
Until you’re ready to get back in the game.
When there’s too much of a struggle, the game is not very enjoyable anymore.
There’s a fine line: knowing how much challenge to take on in exchange for the rewards.
My pride keeps pushing me because I am supposed to play at a higher level.
But I’m not ready yet for that higher level.
I must keep playing at the level I’m at gather knowledge and resources and gradually level up.
Conclusions
The best results came when I focused on playing the game in a way I enjoyed.
I could still do challenges at the level I was at.
The key was finding that line where the game was still challenging but not too hard that it breaks my character.
When we play at that line, the game is still rewarding, but not too boring.
The key takeaway for me was to accept the challenges at the level I’m at.
And plan the next moves and the next upgrades from there.
The focus was on playing and enjoying the game, not so much on the destination.
If we keep playing, we eventually get where we want to be, at those higher levels.
But not in one jump, and definitely not overnight.