A Spirituality Practice
A few years ago, I dived deeply into spirituality teachings.
I lived and breathed Eckhart Tolle’s philosophy for months. Maybe years?
I would go out and sit on park benches for minutes, and sometimes for almost an hour at a time.
I was trying to feel the present moment.
Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t.
But I practiced meditation daily.
I practiced it in the morning, after waking up.
I practiced in the evening, before going to sleep.
I spend time alone, in nature, in a forest nearby where I lived.
I appreciated the beauty of nature, everyday.
But I don’t do it anymore. It’s run its course now.
Something stayed with me from that period of hunting for present-moment awareness.
A Remembrance Of Sorts
A sensation.
A feeling of being no-one.
A feeling of being not-a-person.
I was no-one for a while.
I was no-one for more time than I was some one.
Words can’t explain the experience enough.
Words are designed to define, to conceptualize.
No, I did not take any drugs. Ever.
But meditation gave me access to altered states of consciousness.
There were other practices, too.
My personal favorite?
Breathwork.
It turns out I was was practicing breathwork everyday, not meditation.
Breathwork is more powerful, more intense.
And more dangerous in the long run, as it turns out.
Being No-One Is Strange
You exist, and yet you do not define yourself through concepts.
You simply exist.
You see, perceive and observe.
But you don’t conceptualize.
You simply are.
You are … being.
There is this peace within you and you’re always connected to that.
When I came back to the city after 4 hours spent in nature, everything was weird.
So weird.
All the people were running around.
And for the love of God, I couldn’t figure out why.
Why haven’t they found peace?
It’s so strange – being at peace amongst all the turmoil.
Being at peace feels almost wrong in the city.
A Forgotten Skill
Being absolutely present in the moment feels like a forgotten skill.
But it’s not forgotten.
It’s just covered up by the incessant thoughts we think.
Modern society is built on thought, movement.
We live in a noisy society.
We define ourselves by the actions we take.
We’re constantly moving and fretting about something, worrying about the future.
The default consciousness state in modern society is one busy-ness.
Being active at the cost of everything else.
The state of no-one-ness is very hard to access from within society.
It was easier for me to step out of the city in order to experience present-moment awareness with ease.
In society, we’re always chasing something.
This goal oriented-state prevents you from being at peace.
And when we stop, when we actually stop for a second, it feels so bad.
It feels wrong because society has taught us that being busy is the norm.
And if we’re not busy, we’re wasting time.
Busy, busy, busy.
Beyond Time, Beyond Goals
I remember how it is to be no-one.
It’s a state like no other.
You simply exist.
There is no time.
Just present.
You’re here.
Nothing exists except your field of perception.
It’s strange, being no-one.
It’s not a goal. It’s a state, You can’t reach it by making it a goal, trying to reach it.
You can only reach it by becoming it. By embodying it, becoming who you truly are.
Who you are is beyond concepts, beyond time.
Who you are is inextricably linked to the present moment.
Yes, I’ve read too much Eckhart Toole.
But it paid off. I was drawn to it. Something called me to his book.
The only power we have is in the Now, in the Eternal Present Moment, in the eternal Now.
It’s ok to be afraid of it. Because nothing seems to exist outside the now.
The goals we’ve set for ourselves disappear, the mind disappears, concepts disappear.
All that’s left is Consciousness.
